Last year a friend of mine passed away from cancer. She was young. I had only known her for a few years, but she had a big impact on my life. She's a sweet, kind, and loving person. She has a daughter who had recently gotten married, and her life was full of joy. One day I got a message that she was sick. A few days later she was undergoing chemo treatments, and while they were somewhat effective, it wasn't enough. Other complications arose, and she didn't feel well most of the time. Her attitude was amazing. Her spirit never faltered. She had so many people praying for her, and she believed God was going to heal her. I believed He was going to heal her.
She died.
Why?
I have a very blessed life. I have not encountered much tragedy, sickness, or life-altering events. Some, but not a lot. The most difficult times I've had in life are as a mom. Motherhood is stressful, emotional, and exhausting at times. It's also full of joy and wonderful moments. But it's hard when I'm tired. It's hard when my kids face difficulties I can't fix. It's hard when others tell me I'm doing it wrong. The second-most difficult thing has been medical issues I've had from time to time. I don't tolerate pain well. I am slow to recover from surgery, and I've had six of them. Ugh!
During moments of pain, weariness, distress, frustration, and heartbreak, I've often asked, "Why? Why, God? Why are you allowing this to happen?" (With quiet tears, louder ones, and all-out sobs that shake my whole body.)
I used to feel guilty for asking that. How dare I question God, right? I've heard others say we shouldn't. I've heard people facing great difficulty, sickness, or tragedy say, "I won't question God; I'll just accept His will." If they are sincere, I applaud them. If they're not, I pity them. To not cry out to God in a time of need? That's not right. That's not what He wants.
In God's Kingdom, everything happens for a reason. If we make poor choices that lead to natural consequences, those negative results can wake us up to how we are treating our bodies, how we treat others, time we are wasting, talents we are tossing aside, family and friends we are pushing away, etc. And if things happen through no fault of our own, God has a reason for allowing it to happen. It's okay to ask, 'Why, God?', but don't walk away in disgust, anger, or pain. Run to Him, cling to Him, and wait for the answer.
"Ask and it will be given to you; Seek and you will find; Knock and the door will be opened to you." God invites you to ask, to seek, to knock...to say, "What is going on? Why is this happening? What are You doing? Am I safe? Am I ever going to recover from this? What's Your plan?"
He might not answer immediately, then again, He might. Perhaps He is waiting for you to ask so He can tell you the reason, show you the next step, or provide the way out; or maybe He will ask you to wait, to trust Him for now and see what is to come. But one thing is for sure: He will answer. He will explain Himself. He will teach you something, lead you forward, prove His love, strengthen you, carry you... He will give you whatever you most need.
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" --King David, Jesus, Me
Scripture taken from Matthew 7:7; Psalm 22:1; Matthew 27:46
